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About Sheffield

So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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I jump in, and before I know it, we’re all shouting about who’s the best team. It’s hilarious! I’m laughing so hard, I nearly spill my drink. But then, the random guy gets all serious and starts talking about how Cumnock needs more community events. I’m like, “Mate, chill! We’re just having a laugh!”

Sell-out show heading to Cumnock Town Hall for two performances next month